Why Pain?

Last night I was struggling bad with the pain of my past and the pain I am facing right now. It is hard some days to even get out of bed. Also to open my blinds so the sun can come in. Yesterday was one of those days that I just wanted to cry.

We feel pain in many different ways. It could be physical, emotional, and mental. The pain I feel the most is emotional. When I start thinking about the abuse I suffered as a child or the feelings of being worthless. I start to wonder why people use me and just throw me to the side like a piece of garbage. Somedays I wonder what’s wrong with me. What did I do wrong to be treated the ways I have?

It’s time for me to stand up, dust myself and show the world how strong I am. I am choosing today to live my life to the fullest, to live my life to help others. Today I am choosing happiness, joy and peace. The pain will no longer control me. I need to let go of the past and look towards my future.

If you are reading this and feel like you can’t handle the pain that you feel inside, you got this. You are strong even if you feel weak right now. Don’t let your past affect your future. You have a choice every morning. You can choose to let the pain control your day or you can choose to live your life to the fullest! What will you choose today?

Here is a poem I wrote last night. This is what I was feeling yesterday:

The pain is real,

You wish you could not feel.

It makes you hide,

From the world outside.

This pain steals,

Everything that’s been healed.

You try to hide it,

But no way to subside it.

When it hits,

It feels like bricks.

You can’t take it,

But you try to fake it.

You want to be free,

To fly over the tree.

You’re one step away,

But you are led astray.

The pain is real,

You wish you could not feel.

By: Amanda Higelmire

Published by amandalynn1982

I am 37 years old and live in Michigan. I am a mother of 2 wonderful children. They are definitely my blessing. I want to use my story to help others!

3 thoughts on “Why Pain?

  1. I am so sorry you had to go through all that horrible stuff. Are you doing okay?
    If I can offer any hope at all, the most beautiful and joyous woman I know was abused by her father and 2 brothers. It’s a lot of work to go through recovery but well worth it.


  2. I spent about 10 years getting over a lot less than you have to work through. It was not fun – blood, sweat and lots of tears. We have no choice in the family we get born into but we can choose to get healthy. Keep at it! It gets better.


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